I’m weeks/days/hours/minutes away from becoming a father. The mom-to-be has a bit of flair for the dramatic, if you will. She makes noises and sounds, gasps suddenly for no reason, and does hundreds of other things like starts conversations with the words “uh oh!”. My response to pretty much everything she does now is, “Are you in labor?”

We made a deal to keep my sanity: Anytime she says or does anything that could even possibly make me think she’s in labor, she has to say so afterwords.

Examples:

“Holy crap! I’m not in labor but strawberries are on sale!”

“Uh oh… not in labor… I spilled crumbs on the couch. Sorry.”

“Baby come here I have something important to tell you! Not in labor, but I just saw the cutest little hat for the baby and I bought it online!”